Something Clever

bigmammallama5:

we’re gonna have to start eatin hard cheese and cured salted meats again to try to dodge badly inspected food like just go ahead and give me a set of leather armor and send me on a quest if you’re so set on returning us to darker times

(via metroidtwo)

the-original-cinnamon-roll:

Countless studies: hot showers are bad for you!! They dry out and damage your skin!

Me: I Will Boil Myself Like A Lobster If I So Choose

(via nightinngales)

quitoito:

official-daft-punk:

ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like “oh are you expecting?” And i was like “uhhhh” and because im a dumbass i was like “no i already delivered.” And she was like “How long ago?” And i was just like “two weeks.” And she said “wow! You look great! When i had my first son, i looked like a mess for six months. Is it a boy or a girl?” And i was just awkwardly like “a girl….” And she asked her name and i said Chernobyl and she was like “oh what a cute name! It sounds really familiar.” And i honestly just stood there going through all that and pretending i had a human baby two weeks ago named Chernobyl because i didnt wanna tell this poor lady i was buying baby clothes for my fucking baby opossum

every time i see this text post i forget the ending and every single time it decimates me

(via annabethchasy)

mega-taiga:

minecraft:

mojang-official:

minecraft:

Minecraft… cave update…. im begging yall

then Beg

Я пришел первым в духе мира, но теперь работа твоих собственных рук вынуждает меня вернуться с войной в моем сердце.

hello??

(via dorksworn)

thebootydiaries:

Me: *sees my stuffed animal on the floor next to my bed*

Me: Why wasn’t I a better parent

(via catmeme)

showerthoughtsofficial:

Life would be so much easier if you had a quest log telling you what you have to do in order to complete the game

(via catmeme)

crow–teeth:

crow–teeth:

my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying “that’s illegal people can’t do that” and I find that so fucking funny

For context

(via jewishsuperfam)

sandersstudies:

all-my-fandoms-are-killing-me:

sandersstudies:

fainsworld:

pleaseletthisjimbetaken:

sandersstudies:

samsjammaam:

sandersstudies:

roman-flair:

sandersstudies:

rinofwater:

sandersstudies:

i-will-physically-fight-you:

sandersstudies:

You can literally make anything and anyone problematic if you try hard enough seriously give me people and things and I’ll make them all “problematic” right now.

Dogs.

I don’t even have to do this one because PETA did it first by insinuating domestication is inherently abusive.

The sky

Used to trick and mock anyone who asks “what’s up?” A bullying tactic.

Super Mario Bros.

Stereotypes Italians, enforces the narrative of women who need men to rescue them, and encourages violence against turtles.

John Mulaney

He was over on the bench and he SAW what they did to Tyler and he did NOTHING.

Omfg

Pokemon

Making your pets fight repeatedly is animal abuse.

OP

OP literally argued that dogs were problematic but go off I guess

(via plastic-pipes)